You Made Me Feel Better

I was looking back at the writing of the latest YouTube effort – You Make Me Feel Better (blog post 5 April 16) – very much a journey. It came out of a new friendship and musical coming together. Not long out of university; a long way from home, a new job, finding my feet… At work I’d heard of this guy who did music – something I wanted to do. So one day, I plucked up the courage to ask this then stranger for help to 'properly' record some of my songs, next bringing in a tape of some recorded on cassette. Fortunately, he was both interested and nice enough to help.

Mike Meade had been in gigging bands, had experience of recording and had a circle of musical friends. He gave me some tapes of his; demo recordings with his band and on his own. Really good music; some of it very poppy (Stripes) and some of it very clever – him weaving little stories with synthesiser, drum-machine and multi-tracked vocals on a 4-track – often with a theatrical quality.

Recording at Jester's

We shared a passion for music; a love of The Beatles (me being from Liverpool helped), and of vocal harmonies. A couple of hired in 4-track weekends to record a few demos, turned into a few budget studio recordings (one a week-long session requiring a bank loan). We gelled, and in forming a musical partnership and friendship, hung out together, laughed, joked, talked and bounced ideas off each other. Musically, I was very green at the time, no experience of being in a band, but had had music in my life - making up songs for a few years and a little live singing entertaining tourists on the Isle of Man. We soon had this idea of being a 'modern Everly Brothers' with synths and electric guitars.

It was quite an exciting time; things were happening amongst Mike's circle of friends – some in charting bands – then there was his friend, Clive, who not only had a presence and a charisma, but was coming out with record-quality, radio-friendly music. Another friend Tony, a guitarist/producer we would work with, was in a 'happening' underground band – The Sons of Valentino... I was honoured, if a little overawed, about being in such talented company.

John and Paul
In the tradition of Paul going to John's to write, we did a bit of that... Mike coming over with his keyboard and us jamming seeing what we came up with, sometimes having a tape machine to catch those ideas. It was fun, occasionally magical, and we fed off each other. There was a healthy competition, so if one of us had an idea, we would both be invested in it. I think because I was the lesser musician, needing some approbation, once we had the song idea, I would like to take it and to finish it off if we were stuck; also the words sometimes need an individual focus as in writing from experience or the heart.

A sea shanty

Looking through my songs folder, there are lyrics in Mike’s hand, which suggests he had the original idea (meeting someone who 'made him feel better'). I have a recollection of us trying to write this song, building on that "You Make Me Feel Better"... we were in my room in that shared house in Hounslow, my girlfriend at the time, a nurse, was there – a song for her? - it was up tempo, and had the chorus (same line repeated), we tried some verses (on the theme of a new love to lessen the hurt of a previous love). The middle 8 ("I'm never down...") was conceived. Looking at the sheets of lyrics, there are several attempts at writing verses, however that incarnation was never finished.

A year or so later and living in Slough, having learned how to play a bit on the keyboard, I revisited it experimenting with my new keyboard skills – slower because I couldn't play fast! – coming up with some new verses; the chorus and middle 8 remained. Still the same idea of a new love to get over an old one, but now more wishful thinking – romanticised. Scribbled on the sheet of paper where I’d been writing the lyrics was: "I want to feel like this".

Mike and I did have a run-through once with the new lyric and feel, by this time we were on different paths. The music hadn't taken off. For me, a song to play now and again if having a jam. I always thought it was quite a nice song with a positive, hopeful message, As it happened, all those years later, it became the one to start the ball rolling on YouTube, even if just me on a guitar. Knowing it was 'to do' project, I worked on it, creating the music and building up the vocal textures – eventually it was done. Pleasing to have been able to shoot the video on my beloved Isle of Man.

You Make Me Feel Better

You Make Me Feel Better - filmed on location on the Isle of Man

There is still more to come from those early days – songs to dust down and put on show. For me, unfinished business; more about getting it done than any particular aspiration. The answer to the question: why can I do this? Generally, 'Music Makes Me Feel Better'. So I do. And it is good to have music in your life.

Back to Business

Though not exactly on the radar I've continued to be busy with the music, though I can't say I've been in the fast lane. It would be different with a band of able musicians to get things recorded and come up with ideas – also still not winning the Lottery means I can't just throw money at it!

I have a list of songs totted up that I’d written there's over 60 – I start scraping the barrel a bit after 40/45! Then there are the bits of songs and many-an-idea quickly recorded onto a tape or phone for later… what has been encouraging is that I am coming up with new stuff, and I'm able to finish off the part-written songs where maybe they need a middle eight or something. Still very much a solo mission, so it does take time. If I can get half of them done I’ll die happy.

Most recent new song was 'Valentine'. I had a bit of an idea for it many years ago, just singing over some chords on guitar, and I came across it doing some 4-track backing up. This year with a little romantic interest I made it the next project taking that germ of an idea and turning it into a proper song and recording; starting it the week before (Valentine's Day) there was little chance of me getting it done. However, a few weeks later it was done and a home-made video done – mainly to have a record of me singing it.

Valentine

A lot of heart went into it. And I think it is quite universal – the words that a man might want to say to his true love and soul-mate. As for me, looks like my little dalliance with love was a bit misplaced (I'm sure there'll be a song about that). So, at this moment mixed feelings about 'Valentine.' Still a decent effort, and one I hope will be around for future Valentine Days

Will write later some more about recent projects: one cover 'Chains' - previously done by the Beatles (very different); a quirky, new song from the archive tapes done for the first time 'I Got No Bed'; a better mix I think of political commentary ‘Wake Up’, and a new mix and slightly changed version of the 2011 song about life's frustrations 'Stop The World' (feedback is good on this – "catchy".)

Beavering Away

Beavering away on the music as ever, so a little update (nothing new since Lover Boy). I must have a least a dozen projects on the go… there are a couple of re-workings of previously uploaded, earlier efforts: definitive, more complete versions of 'Gillian' and my very first upload 'You Make Me Feel Better.' There are a few from the Boys Talk days – two studio recordings from back in the day, and a couple of re-recordings. The question is how to present them? I have been thwarted in my plans for one of them; a good song, well-recorded about watching people and body language - a duet - I wanted a couple of hipper, younger guys to play Mike and me, miming to the track in order to have something visual to put out. I had people in mind: one is willing, the other too self-conscious! So it's back to the drawing board on that one.

One of the pending re-visited songs I played at a party to people who wouldn't have heard it for over a decade and they still remembered it and could sing along! For me that was a 'moment' – encouraging; the song must have 'something'. I'm not averse to letting others sing it, so I hope to get my nephew James up to have a go - besides being younger and more handsome than me, he sings well and does have a certain charisma and presence when performing. It will be interesting hearing it done by someone else.

In another revisited recording, an earlier song – 'Just In Case' - has me singing it differently, changing the melody making it a little more contemporary which I like - another one to finish off! There is the Spanish version of 'I Told You So' which I translated when Mike and I did the studio recording – that recording a bit dated now - the current version sounds impressive with me singing and harmonising in Spanish! I'm quite proud of that, feels like an achievement.

There’s a pretty good 'January' song about self-belief. Also, a new song about meeting up with an ex and realising perhaps you were a bit hasty in dumping her all those years ago! The video filmed on the Isle of Man before the song (music) has been finished!

I have of course missed the deadline for my Christmas song – again! Annoyed at myself over this. Not particularly jolly, a sad one about loss and separation - Christmas for a lot of people is often a time of reflection. I've had it for years, and last year almost had it done, then I played with it vocally, completely changing the melody. It has something – maybe next year.

All in all, so much on the go. My difficulty seems to be finishing them off! Whether it's because I'm very much a one-man band, sometimes losing focus and motivation, I don't know. It should be easier than I make it! Past experience tells me that sometimes having a foil to work with/off does help with creativity and moving things along.

I have so much time for all these musicians having a go, trying to make it happen, following their dreams. Some of the off-the-radar music I hear is ridiculously good. That is a double-edged sword sometimes, when you then become more aware of your place in the musical universe. I had a quite a lot of interest from ReverbNation recently propelling me up the local charts reaching the Top 10 - material to come would be much more worthy of this attention - still, it is nice to be appreciated, especially by other musicians.

Of course, life throws other pressures at you. I really need to generate some income to allow me to carry on and do the music. Savings are disappearing rapidly; the time I gave myself now in extended injury time. The next couple of months will be interesting!

Before I upload new material - hopefully very soon - here are a couple of rough and ready videos from a fundraising party I did last year. The first is cousin, Danny Thomas, and me singing my song 'Just In Case'. The second is me, Danny and brother Kevan doing an impromptu three-part harmony covering The Beatles song 'This Boy'.

Just In Case (Live at The Trevrann)

This Boy (Live at The Trevrann)

Lover Boy, Yeah Right!

I'm always fascinated by the stories behind songs; the inspiration and how it came to be. Both as a fan of music and musicians, and as a creator: I often find myself dipping into books, TV or radio documentaries or the online depositories of insight such as blogs, music magazines, Wikipedia or websites like Songfacts. Whilst I do write a bit each time I finish and upload a new song and video, the blog gives me a chance to expand on that if I'm of a mind...

My latest offering is a song I'd had for a while and first demoed on 4-track using a new at the time video-tape sized sequencer – a Yamaha QY10 – which was the first time I'd had access to such sounds (decent drums, bass, pianos). You could programme patterns, put them together and the results were quite passable. For Lover Boy I had the stereo multi-instrument synth parts on two tracks, and played guitar (arpeggio for verse, strummed for the rest), bounced to make the backing track before using the two available tracks for vocals (main and a harmony). I’d always liked the result: dramatic drums, 60s feel to the guitar and a harmony on the chorus that lifted the song. In time, with computer music I would have access to more tracks and thus more possibilities... hence revisiting it now.

Music is my therapy
The song itself was born of a relationship – no surprise there! There were high hopes, some on-off moments, but in the end it didn't work out. Incompatibilities, old romantic wounds unhealed, career uncertainties as I veered from the path of normalcy with a leap of faith into new business venture. So a period of some turmoil and change - in hindsight quite pivotal - and a fruitful time for musical inspiration. 'Lover Boy' being about that not nice place to be with the girl moving on, the boy licking his wounds and thoughts of 'shoulda-woulda-coulda'. We'd met through an event-driven social group, so in the end it was awkward - and painful; 'walking away' would be my way of dealing with it.

I can picture the moment of inspiration: angry, hurt, feeling sorry for myself, sat on my bed, guitar in hand, I just played a chord run of D/A Suspended 2nd (Dsus2/A) to C/G Suspended 2nd (Csus2/G) - for me unusual chords giving a new sound - as the line "I'm feeling hung up and I don't know why" came to mind, followed by the colourful image of "emotional wreckage". As a composition, it came quickly and I made a natural progression to G then to F for the chorus; Am to G for the post-chorus "someone catch me as I fall." The fingers finding the chords; the voice inside my head finding the melody. Within a couple of days the song was written (quick!), and so as not to forget it, I taped a run-through on cassette. The very first line is a subconscious lift from George Harrison's dissonant chorded Revolver song 'I Want To Tell You.' Aware of that, in the new recording I would change the line to: "I'm feeling hung up, there's a reason why", which actually makes more sense! There was a space left for a solo. I had a dramatic musical 'stop!' which was easy enough to do with the QY10, this leading into a reprise of the intro to get to the repeated choruses to end the song.

In re-visiting Lover Boy I took the 4-track instrumental backing from the 90s, and using my Cubase music sequencing/recording software, I was able to add more guitar and fresh vocals, extending the end to add the "watch out Lover Boy" warnings that I'd had but not been able to record first time round. The space left for the instrumental break was filled by the new guitar solo that I’d come up with; as a one-man band these days, needs must, and I have a go. The result isn't too shabby!

Recording can be a slog!
During the recording process I seemed to get very bogged down with the new guitar parts; the multi-tracking of vocals and guitar would also test the processing power of the computer. All a bit frustrating. In the end, taking a stereo vocal mix and creating a new file, I started the guitar parts afresh, and got the finished version of Lover Boy done during October (2013). After so much time a relief to get it done! Toyed with the idea of putting it up on iTunes to generate some income. It's not perfect, so I wasn't sure. When I can get a home demo to sound like a professional recording… maybe then.

Doing the video
With a certain self-imposed pressure felt due to the lack of finished songs in my 'year of music' and many works-in-progress in the wings, I needed to sign it off. Whilst there is a story to be told, for quickness and practicality, it is just me with a static camcorder set-up with three perspectives and some guitar close-ups for cutaways, all against a red cloth background for consistency. Filmed and edited over a week using Sony Vegas, and then uploaded to YouTube.

Lover Boy

I'm pretty happy with the song; one of my more polished efforts. The reaction has been positive.

As for the girl, we lost touch a long time ago. The hurt passed. Musically I'm grateful for some decent songs, with a couple from that period still to do. Do think it must be quite something to be a muse...

Happy Anniversary!

It's now two years since I uploaded my first song and video to my tinkersong channel on YouTube, the first of 15 original compositions to date – some old, some newer. Hopefully, choosing the date of the sinking of the Titanic wasn't a bad move! I've not been as prolific as I would have liked, but it takes time to get it together – song, recording, some sort of video – still, it's important for me to be doing it, so the journey will continue.

The surprise to me is that that first song 'You Make Me Feel Better', which I went with in spite of it being more basic and raw than I'd planned, has done so well, almost taking on a life of its own. By some way my most popular upload. It is an unfinished Boys Talk song that I reworked; it became quite a romantic number with the idea of someone coming along and saving you. Quite summery too. A song that I really will have to do properly as a 'studio standard' recording. And one day I will… or maybe someone else will (if they ask nicely). [New 2016 version with video filmed on the Isle of Man below.]

You Make Me Feel Better (2016 version)

The journey has had its moments of excitement, as well as disappointments, each having an impact on the psyche, spurring me on or frustrating somewhat. The Lennon/Beatles tribute 'Mathew Street', an old Boys Talk recording, was a promising beginning that seemed to connect, it brought back nice memories of writing it inspired by a John Lennon poster, and of the recording session with Mike Meade (synth/vocals) and Pat Acres (guitar), and the total high of getting a song down; I would be deluding myself if, given its theme and love of The Beatles, it's done anything near what I'd hoped or expected.

'Wake Up,' which sees me writing with passion and cogency about the skulduggery in a political context, seemed to create a little stir within the blogging world, from where I drew inspiration, which was nice – and appreciated. Still a slow burner given all that's going on in the world and being done to people. I will revisit the themes separately in a future blog; I may even dabble some more musically in this area.

The most recent song 'Have You Tonight' has surprisingly done little (so far). Short and sweet. Good feel to it. A bit of a throw-away song borne of brief encounter and the euphoria of a 'moment.' Worryingly, mustering up less than 50 views in a month is something of a bleak reflection of my life and a prolonged period of self-imposed isolation. It is a bit of a rude awakening. Really hoped that doing this (the music) would effect positive change. If I'm honest, generally, the video views on most of the songs aren't that great, the connections are not really happening, even though I'm pleased with most of the songs and recordings, and how I've gone about doing the videos - given the palette and resources available to me.

Have You Tonight

I shouldn't beat myself up too much, to keep me going, there are some good songs in the pipeline and others I'm holding back for when I'm 'discovered', I’ll keep at it. It's who I am, and when I'm in the moment there is no better feeling. Well apart from…